https://soundcloud.com/suresuremusic/this-must-be-the-place-talking-heads-cover

Today is my birthday! One of the many great things about having a birthday around Memorial day is that everyone is generally happy around a three-day weekend; I occasionally get to not work on my birthday; many are energized with gratitude for those who have served, gratitude for the freedoms we enjoy; and there’s a sense of play for those heading to parades, BBQs and pool parties.

For me, this will be the first year that I am not doing my “birthday jams” – I’d like to say that I’m really sad about it, but truth is I was relieved to not have the pressure of it this year and instead I have spent the last few days enjoying music for myself. (But since some of you wondering, it’s mostly been the Avett Brothers, Black Keys, new music from Dan Auerbach from the Black Keys, a cover of “God Only Knows” by Jr Jr. . .and a lot of this Talking Heads Cover by Sure Sure.)

Many have asked me what I was doing this weekend and for the most part, I had a hard time explaining it. So I gave some pretty vague answers. The truth is, I wanted to seek God’s heart for me this weekend, to see His love in unusual places, to know I’m loved by Him.  What would it mean to actively seek love for myself this weekend?

I started with seeing a movie by myself. Just me and God. (I love watching movies.) I spent gift cards – which sent me to the Biltmore where I felt horribly out of place as I walked through Saks 5th Avenue to get to the store I was seeking. . .I ate a fancy hot dog at Short Leash (it was delicious.) I bought myself a very pretty set of earrings with a gift card. But I wasn’t satisfied.

It wasn’t until I found myself in the backyard of a dear friend with her daughter and my two dogs having dinner Saturday night that it came into focus. Loving myself this weekend, seeking God’s heart for me – was a simple as hooking up a sprinkler, turning on oldies music and having a little dance party. Wet, grassy feet; hands up, eyes closed . . . and infectious toddler giggles. Stella chomping at the water and Lacey circling my feet. That was followed by coloring, strawberries, and an overall feeling of safety, I was safe to be silly, safe to just be.

Today I will spend a great deal of time doing laundry, I will replace the flap in my guest room toilet (because I’m handy!), and I will clean up my back yard a bit. BUT I will do it while listening to music, dancing and singing – creating a lot of side head tilt looks from my dogs. Because I know what God gave me for my birthday this year, a desire to enter into play with Him, this place where I know He is smiling and delighting in me as I remember to be childlike before Him.

And at some point today, the sprinklers will turn on and I will enter into play again with God and my two pups.  I will enjoy this simple gift from Him: the cool water hitting my face and the warmth of the sun as I dry. This place, this moment to feel loved and safe enough to enter into play and joy. My birthday wish is that others would dare to enter into play with Him today. Cannon-ball into a pool; join the kids for a dance party . . .run through the sprinklers. And find God’s love in those moments of wild abandon and joy.