Hi.

My name is Amanda.

I’m new.

But writing has been calling my name for years. And writing about music, beauty, and life is the best way I think I can share about how God shows his love to me – and maybe to you too.

So with that brief introduction to me, and what I hope this blog will be about, let me share a little bit about what has brought me to actually typing this, my first blog post.

For the last ten years, I have produced a playlist of music as way of celebrating my birthday and sharing my life through music with my very sweet friends and family.  Most years, I created an elaborate album cover and explained my choice of each song in a long email to my fellow music loving friends. This was and is my joy.  But it’s a lot of work and requires a lot of restraint having to pick the top 20-21 songs out of so many! It feels impossible most years to cut other well deserving songs.

I should mention that while I work as a paralegal for a Christian non-profit by day, I am also an associate counselor with a specialty in expressive art therapy, so this was therapy for me. Not always easy. In fact last year, I struggled to feel a connection to music because of a season of depression – and despite my best efforts, my fellow expressive art therapist friend called me after listening to the playlist to say “Whoa, you weren’t kidding that this year’s been a downer for you.” It’s good to have honest friends. Sometimes, making the list exposes me in a way that can be scary, but in the end really cathartic.

After last year’s sad playlist, I started to realize there was a lot of sadness that was holding me down and back. So I started working on that.  And God drew closer and closer, starting with the smallest moments that eventually led me to reconnecting with my love of music and reminding me of who God made me. He made me to see his love in unique ways – the sunrise, the perfect song that comes up on shuffle when I’m hitting the moment of despair when under a deadline, and the moments of grief after hearing a loved one’s passed, as these beautiful creatures (my pups) God made me stewards of curled up next to me while I cried.

While others made new years resolutions doomed to last less than a month this year, I committed to God one thing for this year – to have a little more “sunshine” in my life.  I died my hair blond as an outward symbol and reminder of this commitment.  And I have been seeking joy, sunshine, and God’s love this year. And sharing my love of music, sharing my life through words – sparks joy for me.

So here I am.  And I can’t hardly post my first blog without sharing at least one song from this year’s Birthday’s Mix. Here is The Avett Brothers’ “Ain’t No Man” – a song that came up in my Spotify playlist one afternoon when I could barely keep my eyes open after staring at the computer endlessly. This song was a shot of an energy, had me dancing at my cube and I played it over and over again to help me the project I was working on done. Best line for me “Got a whole lot of reasons to be mad, let’s not pick one.” Well, OK then Avett Brothers – I won’t.